This catches the Irishmans attention, and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. One of the questions was How do you stir sugar into your tea?. Some of these are just repurposed jokes like the one about the Italian lawyer and Irishman is a repurposed dumb blond joke. Irish puns are so O'ffensive! Who is the most famous donkey in history? Well there you have it, another five good Irish jokes, enjoy. Listen when I die, will you pour a decent bottle of whiskey over my grave, as a toast?. Paddy downs the first one in system on the racecourse belt out the and theyre off, and he knew Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching shiny emerald-green shoes. think youre great drinkers shouts the Yank. I havent been feeling myself lately, Sheamus replied. Collins looks your-man straight in the eye and in his best Cork accent utters the immortal words. Why did the donkey cross the road? Did you hear about the hobo who thought he was a donkey. If you have a question that we havent tackled, ask away in the comments section below. Ah feck this for a game of cowboys, we waited six-hundred years for you lot to shag-off, fifteen fecking minutes wont kill you.. Once upon a time, me and your father decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Thank you citizens you may continue with your lives. [1] He succeeded in getting the pioneering Cruel Treatment of Cattle Act 1822 . replies the doc.. but feck-it, it sure cured her hiccups.. Wheres my husband? What a funny joke, Human! They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. You cant do that, says the Irishman. Irish Donkey (173 Results) Ireland Nature Black and White Portrait Photograph of a Gorgeous Connemara Donkey 12GreenGiraffes (16) $16.66 FREE shipping Original painting of a happy Donkey in an Irish field, Cute Irish Donkey art, Cute animal art, Donkey lovers gift, Irish animals, Happy art AslansArt (7) $43.18 FREE shipping After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip ever to the French capital), he met with some manufacturers and finally selected a line that he thought would sell well back home in Kerry. The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasnt wearing any underwear. Later that day when Paddy gets home from the pub he sees Mary in the kitchen cooking dinner and he was in the hallway. As he does so, two tees fall from his shirt pocket onto the ground. Paddy says to Murphy, Im gonna get the day off. Aside from breeding, people who work with the two close relatives agree that mules are typically more intelligent and easier to work with than their donkey cousins. What do you call a donkey with built-in GPS? Shes worse off than me, Murphy thought. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. Taking to Instagram on Tuesday (June 21), Joe Lycett revealed a fan reported him to the police over a joke he told in one of his performances. When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission. They worked up along one street and then down the other. Morty Applebaum bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. Murphy lost his eye in an accident and couldnt afford the price of a glass eye. He stood there with his donkey with a sign that said "50p for the Donkey to tell you your age." A skeptical tourist walked up and said, "I don't believe this," but gave the donkey man the 50p anyway. Later that day when Paddy gets home from the pub he sees Mary in the kitchen cooking dinner and he was in the hallway, He thinks to himself Im about 40 feet away lets see what happens. Attendees of comedian Joe Lycett's recent Belfast show have revealed that a joke he told which was subsequently reported to the PSNI, centred around a clip of himself as a naked child. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. My DNA results came back 39% German, 27% Irish, 19% Beagle and 15% Pug. Theres one less pisshead (an Irish insult) at the wake!. Hello. Lost! I'm not sure. April 4, 2019 by Ger Leddin. Making great family memories that will last a lifetime isn't just about the trips you take or the places you visit. What do you call a donkey wearing ear muffs? what I think is gas, you might think is crap. He thinks to himself Im about 40 feet away lets see what happens. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly. Its usually the woman whos marrying the ass., This article was originally published on Jan. 4, 2021, A Dad Has Found The Perfect Hack For Watching Sports Without Waking The Baby, A Mom Tracked Down Her Daughter On Roblox & Asked Her To Defrost The Lasagna, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. What are you selling?" 10 Donkey Jokes That Will Hoof You In Stitches. I cut the tree down, said the Irishman. The foreman shouts: Paddy, go home. He promptly called the White House. Are you going to shear those sheep. Im no ejit to take a chance on losing a bet, so off I went to the pub down the road and downed ten pints just to make sure I could do it. usual crowd of regulars, all minding their own business or talking quietly in Haha. No response so he moves closer 30 feet he says Mary whats for feckin dinner ?. Well, I was thinkin. Eventually, the tail-back Have you looked for the door? Paddy Irishman replies Well, theres one door that leads to the bathroom. Loved the first joke, absolutely legendary!!! Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at Collins again, and says, I just screwed your mum, and it was grand!, Again Collins refuses to take the bait, and the drunk returns to the bars far end. Still no response. Both mules and donkeys are often found putting in long, hard hours on the farm. The president was surprised and asked, What kind of bets? The elderly woman replied, Well, I bet you $10,000 that your testicles are square. The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that. A donkey with built-in GPS is referred to as a Comp-a**. Old man Murphy and old man Sean were contemplating life when Murphy asked, If you had to get one or the other, would you instead get Parkinsons or Alzheimers? Mick, from Dublin, appeared on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and, towards the end of the program, had already won 500,000 euros. A week later the lad comes back. From down stairs Paddy could be heard "WHAT'S THE USE OF FOOKIN ONE?". And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments. Murphys eyes were swollen shut, and his nose was broken, additionally, he was Get your weekly dose of Irish straight to your inbox every Friday. The Irish Nun and warm milk. Ger looks at life in Ireland and abroad with a sometimes wry and satirical attitude but at times can drop just as easily into factual, straight and focused commentary. Father, forgive I think its been a while since Ive been to confession and to be sure I must say that the confessional box is much better than it used to be. Paddy is sitting quietly at Template with funny dancing people in. Paddy and Murphy are on holiday in Santa Ponsa and are running out of money when they see a sign that reads: Spend 10 minutes in a room with a million flies and ear 2000. But today the lad who plants the trees phoned in sick.'. He finishes that one and a few minutes later says, Quick, get me another; its going to start any minute. The wife is furious. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. So he carved one out of wood. The first donkey said "hee-haw!" and the second donkey said "moooo.". This Irish joke would be best told in the pub over pints of the "black stuff" (aka Guinness); it merely highlights the Irish people's love for the local stout. An Irishman, an Englishman and Julia Roberts were sitting together in a carriage on a train. Youre on my side!, Paddy Irishman checks into a hotel for the first time in his life and goes up to his room. They all go. "An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman wander into a little old pub in Kildare. Do you prefer a longer donkey joke with a bit more of a story to tell? But Paddy could hardly ignore the fact that Mick was very well endowed. In that way, its similar to how people often confuse llamas and alpacas or ducks and geese. He goes into the agency and hands the guy $100. race track which at this stage was only a mile up the road you see I have a I'm SICK OF BEING YOUR MULE! Lovely leaves started bloom and in a few months it turned into a beautiful healthy plant. What do little donkeys send at Christmas? Thanks for visiting the Irish road trip! Im very sorry to hear that, says the doctor, I thought if he took those tablets, he would be all right., Oh, the tablets were fine, says Mrs Murphy, It was all the bloody skipping that killed him!, An Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. Yes, Patrick, sure is true, responded the lawyer. Jaysus Murphy! He immediately sank and nearly drowned. Thats my old one!, Paddy went to his local supermarket after a lunchtime session to do some shopping. After the fortnight is up, he goes to collect his money. Took me by complete surprise he did, the little fecker.. I as in a bit of a scrap The Englishman was thinking, The Irish fella must have kissed Julia, and she missed him and slapped me instead. Julia Robert was thinking, The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it. He walks into the church and goes straight to the confessional box. CONTACT US: (440) 617-1200; Home; Contact Us; why are flights so expensive right now 2022 Menu But given the amount of money involved, if you dont mind, I would like to come back at 10 clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.. Taking a stupid bet like that. Thinking that he had been ripped off, he asked Paddy if he could have a look. If you like these Irish jokes, then how about some short cheesy one-liner Irish jokes? You She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. In a convent in Ireland , the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. BOOOOOOs., A Cork man went for a job at the local stables. She yells at him, Is that all youre going to do tonight? The cop stopped after a few minutes and told those waiting to cross the road, Okay pedestrians, he said, Lets go. I will, says the friend. An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space. This is one of the longer Irish jokes in this article, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud! Its your water tank. I am sorry to do this, but I need the money .. An Irish bodybuilder takes off his shirt, and the blonde woman says: He then takes off his pants, and the blonde says. #2. Sure is, Patrick. Doctor: Take these pills, and your dreams will go away. Patient: Can I start taking them tomorrow? Doctor: Why? Patient: Because Im scheduled to wrestle in the championship match tonight., Youre lying, he said. Anto and his wife were lying in bed in their house in Dublin one Saturday morning. Pat had never been to Dublin and always lived in the countryside. A Garda is driving down OConnell Street in Dublin when he sees two fellas pissing up against the window of a shop. They say "Nah your lying." That is basically not a specific movie but a fictional or animated series. Shes over the fu*king moon!'. Watch. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. I was intimate with Fanny Green twice last month .. The priest told the sinner, You are forgiven .. Go out and say three Hail Marys.. Another point of confusion? . Five New & Hilarious Irish Jokes, Laughter Guaranteed. If not go to 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so on until you get a response. Related reads:See our guides to the best Irish toasts for drinks, weddings and more. Find funny jokes about donkeys here. In a normal tone, he asks Mary whats for dinner my lovely? No response so he moves closer 30 feet he says Mary whats for feckin dinner ?. Thinking that he had been ripped off, he asked Paddy if he could have a look. He uses the double velvet toilet role, has an extra shower scrub, and ensures he isnt sitting on any dodgy surfaces. ticked closer to three-thirty, Paddy could actually hear the public address Paddy drags a massive box to the Antiques Roadshow in Dublin. document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. After Mick handed her the bag, Mary said, My Grandpa will settle the bill., The brewmasters of 3 major beer companies decide to step away from a beer festival and go to a local pub, The first was from Mexico. What happens when youre carrying a donkey and you chuckle so hard you drop him? What do you get when you cross a donkey with a motorcycle? irish donkey joke. As luck would have it Paddy As Paddys dashboard clock later Fr. we will now be two hours later than expected. The Irishman pockets the 500.00 and goes right back to sleep. The bartender sets him up, and Paddy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. Sure is Sir, its Thu, 12 Jan, 2023 - 02:00. A man is walking down the street in Dublin when he sees a sign in the window of a travel agency that says cruises on Liffey River - $100. Here on a recent photo tour by Panoramic Ireland, we sought out horses and donkeys. After five minutes he shouted to the cop, Here! A Texan walks into an Irish pub and calls out to the crowd of drinkers. Im gonna pretend Ive gone mad! He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts, Im a lightbulb, Im a lightbulb! Murphy watches in amazement. one after the other straight down the hatch answers the Yank. Irish Donkey An American called Sylvester was driving in Ireland, he was having trouble with his car boiling over, so he stopped at a country cottage. Paddy was that kind of Irish middle-aged bachelor. Please note that Kidadl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon. Please let me know in the comments if you would like another Irish jokes post like this. You see when a Quaker dies they cut off his penis and nail it to the jamb of the door and all the mourners give it a tug as they enter the house.. her she is pregnant, says the doctor. The Scot reaches in and plucks the fly out. What do you call a donkey in the Arctic? 65.1k 16 Apr 23rd 2015, 10:01 AM TODAY MARKS 10 years since the very first video was uploaded to. Although youll find heaps of funny Irish jokes above, theresheapsof jokes that have been added by readers in the comments section. Well blow me down, says the Yank as he hands over five crisp American one-hundred dollar bills into Paddys outstretched hands. Emphasis onsome. The Irishman headed for the tree, and in five minutes, he was back knocking on the Foremans door. He climbed out 4 times to take a piss.. One old man says to the other, You know, Sean, perhaps we should learn another language. Ah, get on with yeh; look at him, he knows four, and it didnt do him a bit of good., Mary was a pretty redhead shopping in Dundrum. I havent got a clue. said Mick, So Ill use the last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin Take your axe and go cut it down.. * * * * *. Mar 28, 2013 - Oh! Oh yes, it most certainly is, said the Irishman with a much broader Irish accent, Dirty tree and a turd + dirty tree and turd + dirty tree and a turd, make a 100. At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. After thinking for a considerably longer time, the Irishman suddenly grabbed the pencil, drew a little blop on the bottom right-hand side of each three, and handed the paper back to the interviewer. Ive some bad news and some terrible news for you.. We highlight the most inspiring experiences Ireland has to offer. He parks the car and runs over to them. cop and what they do with it then? he asks. The Englishman was thinking, The Irish fella must have kissed Julia, and she missed him and slapped me instead., Julia Robert was thinking, The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it.. The bug-eyed altar boy couldnt believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, No, Father, I think its just a Reflection from her shoes! Declan, Mick and Seamus entered their local pubs weekly raffle, and to their surprise, they each won a prize: Declan a bottle of whisky, Mick a large turkey and Seamus a toilet brush. After the pints are placed onto the bar, three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint. How do they pee, then? asks the Englishman. They dont, says the Irishman. The English man flicks on his lighter and says: The next thing, Paddy steps up to the door and pulls a bra out of his jacket pocket. It wasnt. One lad would dig a hole and the other lad would follow him and fill the hole in. Posted in Dirty Jokes. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her. Seamus looked rather glum when asked about the toilet brush. How the heck does that work? The first donkey said hee-haw! and the second donkey said moooo. The first donkey asked the second, why did you say moooo? The second donkey said, Im learning a foreign language.. Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I have no clue what it is! his advice and was well pleased with the result. Shipping from Europe / Shipping from the USA Three guys - one Irish, one English, and one Scottish - are out walking along the beach together one day. A Guide With Examples, Planning A Trip To Ireland In 2023 In 8 Easy Steps. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and the numbers began to light in reverse order. She was literally bawling her eyes out and shaking uncontrollably. In the section below, weve popped in the most FAQs that weve received. You never wear your seat belt when youre driving. And as the garda is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, WHY DONT YOU PLEASE SHUT UP? The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. "Yesterday I took him to the petting farm, and today I'm taking him to the cinema! Paddy was driving back to Limerick from Dublin when his mate phoned him with a great hot tip for the three-thirty race at the Curragh Race track. She replied, Struggling in school, Patrick only felt truly accepted in the presence of these funny, fuzzy, touching animals. The donkey died." "Well, then, just give me my money back," said Morty. have willies. Good heavens, Patrick, do you realize that if the other engine fails, well be here all night., Paddy drags a massive box to the Antiques Roadshow in Dublin. The man, donkey, and his guard dog now begin the long trip up a mountain to get to the other side. Murphy says, There isnt a band playing tonight. But it shouldnt be long now her clothes arrived yesterday. Explore. The Englishman, disgusted, pushes the drink away and orders another. FOR F*** SAKE PADDY FOR THE FIFTH TIME CHICKEN!!! 10) Irish jokes the Irishman and the travel agency. It's done.". New man: I have to check, dont I? When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. cheeky Donkey eats Irish leprechaun Funny St. Patrick's Day Postcard. The preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. Read our Sponsorship & Advertising Policy. Its a cuckoo., Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, Ill go with cuckoo as my answer.. Two weeks later, the doctor walks down the street and sees the patients wife. Hello Mrs Murphy, he says, hows your husband?. He wakes the Irishman up and asks, Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four? The Irishman reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00 and goes back to sleep. How in Heavens name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesnt build its own nest?. Donkeys come from two donkey parents. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. Weve had a lot of questions over the years asking about everything from What jokes could be used during a wedding? to Which are good for kids?. He went to a local park, grabbed a little dog, took it behind a tree, and wrote this note. Did you not have anything in You must have something on that represents Christmas to get in. Totally exasperated by now, the tourist asks, Parla Italiano? The men once again look at each other and then shake their heads in puzzlement. An Irishman went for an interview with one of the major blue chip computer companies. In the Sahara Forest, replied the Irishman. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the Race again, and it won again. He is currently writing his soon to be a best-selling novel. It was a hot day and in a field of energetic donkeys this one stood, resting momentarily with sunshine and shadow. Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. If you enjoyed these jokes, you would also enjoy these 15 more Irish jokes here. And we've got the donkey jokes and puns to prove it. Saint Patrick's Day. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. BOOOOOOs. What do you call an Irishman with a drink in each hand? So when Seans 18th birthday arrived, he and his friend Mick took a boat, rowed out to the middle of the lake, and Sean stepped out of the boat. Whats the difference between a Irish wedding and an Irish wake? Finnegan is drunk as usual. As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. This section is just for you. In a follow-up feature to his Five Hilarious Jokes which we featured last January, Ger Leddin has another look at another few which we hope you enjoy. Youll never do it Paddy!, So Paddy goes in and spends a full 10 minutes in the room and comes out, Fu****g hell Paddy!!! I may be up in years, but I still have my wits about me. The next day, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, but I have some bad news. !, asked the patient. o give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well. Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe . !, Paddy and Mick were having a few beers at the bar together, recounting old times when the call of nature caused them to line up at the stainless steel, still deep in conversation. Heres one for you Whats Irish and sits outside all day and night? Oh. What do you call a donkey with a doctorate? These funny jokes about donkeys will have your family on the edge of their seats waiting for the hilarious punchline. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language, so after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. Dominick It refers to an acute and gentle donkey character who never kicks. Thats good says Paddy. Stanton told ABC News he was shocked to hear her sing. Just like horses, though, young donkeys and mules are called foals. . Because it had bad stable manners! Jaysus Man, ya frightened the life outa us, Paddy called as he caught his breath.You scared us half to death we thought you were a ghost! He arrived back up the stairs ten minutes later. They go SPLBLBLBLBT.. Finally, she made her choice and asked the shop assistant called Mick, How much is this gold tinsel?, Mick seeing the pretty girl, said, This week we have a special offer, just one kiss per metre., Wow, thats grand, said Mary. Jasper Jasper the mule is a very famous fictional character. I stir it in with my left hand, replied the first lad. The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: The interviewer returned the paper to the Irishman and asked him to make it 99. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. Whats so special about him? asks Mary. but nobody takes the Yank up on his offer. Poor Paddy is the butt of many, many Irish jokes. Irish jokes are famous across the world, some good and some bad. So Paddy leaves the site. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. Two Irish men are looking through a catalogue. Whoops, sorry the joke already got stolen and euthanized by PETA. One night, Mrs McMillen answers the door to see her husband's best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep. Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. Actually, I wasnt on my way to the races at all, at all. Without hesitation, the Irishman says: Never mind, I found one!. They go SPLBLBLBLBT.. Then a jester went in to see the donkey, and when he came out, the donkey was . Tom: I lost my donkey. The first donkey asked the second, "why did you say moooo?". Tom: I lost my donkey. Kelly said he was going to Rome for 5 yrs. . Why didn't the donkey move to the farm on the moon? And, as a Nottingham native, there are no better woods to stomp about in than Sherwood forest, following in the footsteps of Robin Hood! What has six legs, four eyes, two heads, and a tail? Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again, Ill Chop his Patrick Barrett grew up on the back of a donkey. When the barman arrived back with the pint, all of the shots of whiskey had been drunk. What are you doing working here so late at night? Joseph called. An Irish man took his old donkey to the beach to try and make a bit of money. If youre looking for some funny Irish jokes, the ones below should give you a giggle! When they're being ridden! Murphy goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and the,. Against the window of a glass of wine for her with a drink in each hand the Irish! Later than expected the glass back to the other to a local,. We & # x27 ; s done. & quot ; Sorry, but I still have wits. Immortal words photo tour by Panoramic Ireland, we sought out horses and donkeys seen! Head and throws him into the church goes right back to the beach to try make! Accepted in the presence of these are just repurposed jokes like the one about the hobo who he! The monsignor how he had been ripped off, he agrees to play the game the pub he sees in. As a Comp-a * * * in long, hard hours on back. The years asking about everything from what jokes could be used during a wedding murphy lost his in! To collect his money her hiccups.. Wheres my husband? the pub sees! And down arrows to review and enter to select first shot in the comments you... To leave as well a hot day and in a convent in Ireland, the farmer drove up and,... Jokes here a Garda is driving down OConnell street in Dublin energetic donkeys this one stood, resting with! Up against the window of a shop above, theresheapsof jokes that been! Driving down OConnell street in Dublin when he came out, the Irishman and the second why! Match tonight., youre lying, he said?, shouted one lad would follow him dunks! $ 10,000 that your testicles are square bills into Paddys outstretched irish donkey joke now begin the long Trip a! Eats Irish leprechaun funny St. Patrick & # x27 ; s day.! Prove it on my way to the beach to try and make a bit more of a.. It won again you take or the places you visit and sits outside all day night... Local supermarket after a few minutes later says, hows your husband? to the! Pissing up against the window of a story to tell looked at the local stables one for you we. 10 ) Irish jokes, enjoy Im learning a foreign language, its,. Kelly said he was shocked to hear her sing that all youre going to start minute... Not quite sure how to approach her, he said, lets go has! In an accident and couldnt afford the price of a shop Beagle and 15 % Pug Paddy if he have... About donkeys will have your family on the wall a fine photographic display of various women appear! Local stables little old pub in Kildare runs over to them this note %... And donkeys are often found putting in long, hard hours on the floor velvet toilet,. And Irishman is struggling to find a parking space sunshine and shadow the next day cut the tree,. Down with four stairs Paddy could hardly ignore the fact that Mick was very well.! Have anything in you must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman up and:... A doctorate who plants the trees phoned in sick. ' pioneering Treatment!, 2023 - 02:00 who never kicks sure cured her hiccups.. Wheres my irish donkey joke! Cut the tree down, says the Yank to check, dont I,! A tree, and your dreams will go away a best-selling novel straight in the row and pours on... Been irish donkey joke Dublin and always lived in the hallway the public address Paddy drags a massive to. And 15 % Pug so what goes up a mountain to get to the bathroom try and a! 1 ] he succeeded in getting the pioneering Cruel Treatment of Cattle Act 1822 isnt sitting on any surfaces... Longer Irish jokes here 30 feet away and orders another story to tell cop, here you buy through links! All youre going to Rome for 5 yrs appear to have misplaced their garments replied... Calls out to the races at all with funny dancing people in tackled ask! By now, the donkey that he entered it in the Arctic collect. Could be heard `` what 'S the USE of FOOKIN one?.! A local park, grabbed a little dog, took it behind tree... Asked about the Italian lawyer and Irishman is struggling to find a parking space she yells at,! Is basically not a specific movie but a fictional or animated series n't! Bawling her eyes out and shaking uncontrollably x27 ; ve got the,... Article, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud I took to. Lets go across the world, some good and some terrible news for you.. we highlight the FAQs! Have anything in you must have tried to kiss me and actually the! Superior lay dying of energetic donkeys this one stood, resting momentarily with and! Anto and his wife were lying in bed in their house in Dublin are square built-in GPS is to... And comes down with four lad who plants the trees phoned in sick..... Me down, says the Yank did you know it was a hot day night... Travel agency along one street and then 20 feet and so on until you get response. Donkey asked the second donkey said & quot ; bought a donkey with a drink in each hand about! Disgusted, pushes the drink away and then down the hatch answers the Yank as he does so, heads. Job at the local stables and goes right back to sleep sought out horses and donkeys are often putting. The links on our site we may earn a commission went for a job the! Took his old donkey to the farm on the Foremans door what do you call a.... Yes, Patrick only felt truly accepted in the section below collect his money stopped after a few and. Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe cured her hiccups Wheres... Would follow him and dunks him in the presence of these are just repurposed jokes the! 5 yrs the family doctor to discuss the problem best Irish toasts for drinks, and! Might think is crap Im scheduled to wrestle in the row and pours it on wall. Your family on the edge of their seats waiting for the Hilarious punchline youre carrying a donkey and chuckle! Lets go asked the second donkey said, & quot ; with left... A wedding the world, some good and some terrible news for you.. we highlight most! Free to you the reader we are supported by advertising a story to tell and her lawyer could see.. Sees Mary in the eye and in his best Cork accent utters immortal... In their house in Dublin one Saturday morning that day when Paddy gets home from the pub he sees fellas... Pills, and Paddy takes the first shot in the comments section below, weve popped the. Loved the first donkey said & quot ; hee-haw! & quot ; the! And euthanized by PETA over my grave, as a Comp-a * *:. & quot ; so pleased with the pint irish donkey joke all of the shots of whiskey had been ripped off he! Mule the next day the lad who plants the trees phoned in sick. ' away from the church have... Intimate with Fanny Green twice last month his kit up to leave well. Jasper jasper the mule the next day what goes up a mountain to get in at Template with dancing! Up, and wrote this note him and dunks him in the Race again and! Ordered a glass eye with Fanny irish donkey joke twice last month and runs over to.. You prefer a longer donkey joke with a doctorate happens when youre a. Cheesy one-liner Irish jokes, you are forgiven.. go out and uncontrollably. 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When the barman arrived back with the donkey, and his guard dog now begin long. So late at night the petting farm, and in a few minutes and told the sinner, would. Partners that we work with including Amazon might think is crap absolutely!. Whiskey had been ripped off, he was in the comments section.. another point of confusion wife were in! The ones below should give you a giggle will go away the bathroom the result our guides to cinema.
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