i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it

to Lynne, you asked, so heres my (Im a guy btw) answer: first, maybe it was his dream job, and he never though he could find anything like that, so if it means he has to work a year without pay (and apparently, it was something you guys were able to stomach be it just barely) it might be something worth trying. Please note I consider this guy as a very good friend & Id rather keep the friendship & risk the friendship as well if thats what it takes, than let him get involved with me for the wrong reasons from his perspective if truly wants to work it out with his wife. Its devastating. Your gut is telling you something, and you need to listen to it. You two should marry quickly after you both pray for forgiveness! There is and was nothing going on between us but a friendshipwell I thought. I expect he will sneak away on his motorcycle in the morning. He always says he loves me and would never dream of cheating, and is just the sweetest guy.. but lately, he finds excuses to get away from the house, I found lube in his car, then just today, I see that he left for work without his ring on. So is he cheating? My prayers for your peace. I hope it helps, and welcome your thoughts! I need some advice asap on what to do or how to go about confronting him again. God Loves You!!!! Something was different. Hi all- I have been married for 43 yrs. I didnt ask him to deactivate his account that was his decision. This was the case with my man. You dont need someone to tell you that you are right or acting appropriately. Life is short, it is not worth to keep forgiving a repeat offender.there is no point to continue caring for and loving someone who just dont value you. Science has proven that genetic diversity is healthier within biological populations. I told him if he didnt call me in 5 minutes I would call the number. By the way i know already that my husband is lying because i track him in his phone but i cant say nothing unless i see in my eyes, i learned my lesson. his freinds are no saints. He even told me that he thought she was actually pregnant unless I wouldnt have known. You can read more about me. I think it was a control thing. I care for him a lot hence reason I gave him a second chance and chance and chance and he never change all he did he change the young girls, co-worker or anyone he can find.. I confronted him about the texts and told him I wanted to end our relationship, but he is adamant that nothing actually happened (he admits to leading the girl on via text but maintains that nothing else ever happened between them). He has done a few things different in the bedroom, when I ask him about it he says he is just trying different things as to my reaction. Kindly advice. But people dont know what they have until its gone I will say that. We do choose the familiar. Again, the evidence screams cheating, but I just don't get how he could let us get divorced and just not admit it. It is crazy when we dont do the thing that we know and feel is right. But I dont think she know about a woman name Cecilia a woman he been with for the past 9 years. If you are, that might be the real problem. http://www.marketwatch.com/story/5-apps-for-spying-on-your-spouse-2014-03-10. Had she not placed that call I never would Have questioned him about this woman. It bothered me that he did not mention this to me when we were introduced and I knew nothing of this woman the whole time we have been married. When I was walking back to my vehicle, I did not see him or woman that works with him. Please leave him honey!!! We have 2 children together which are now teens. According to him. There are no easy answers when youre getting signs that your husband is cheating and lying about his affair or his Facebook activities, or his relationships with coworkers. So I sat in my vehicle for about 10 more minutes and then I called him. Better being alone, I think! since we met he is cheating with various women includes his wife. Im not one to share my emotions so this is a big step for me. She is married. She wouldnt act like she envied me and have anger plus rage towards me. I then started checking his phone and his FB messages which talk about he they slept together and him having to pay for her morning after pill. Trust me now or you are the jerk! He was married, but not happy and left his wife. I dont get it. He said he loved me and he didnt want her, but I think it was because she was married with kids and I think if she hadnt have been he would have been off like a shot. He was actually married when he approached me although he didnt disclose this. And it was probably wise not to confront your husband immediately, without first trying to gain additional information. i cheated on him once after he hit me and I was going to break up with him. My boyfriend is having more than 7 girlfriend. But emoji still appear on frequently used. I am currently getting help for my self..which he stated that he wanted to help me, he told me he was going to end his affair..but he still said he didnt feel the same about me ..I still love him very much. Then someone told me things just dont pop up like that in any search field. we are together for over 8 yrs with two kids now. I told him I was leaving him and he begged me to stay, offered to go to counseling for a sex addiction. Perhaps you could get some new clothes, a new hairstyle or even join the gym whatever you do, though, do it because you felt like it and not because of your relationship status. I just dont know what to do and what to believe its killing me. He didnt know about that! Maybe its not the cheating or the lying thats the issue. Awful. I confronted him about that, he was angry and he told me me to stop looking at his phone. How do I approach him about this without causing problems in my own marriage? He says he wants nothing more than me now. When he is home, I dont even get acknowledged anymore its like no matter what I feel like Im bothering him. All because I am supposed to just deal with his emotional connection he carries on with her???? He has always been a wonderful father. To make a long story short, I know that he is still seeing her. Both men and women are vulnerable to temptation and mistakesand thats where trust comes in. I confronted him, he lied about it and then when I told him that he was having an affair, he tried to turn the tables and say that it was my fault because for so many years I withheld sex from him and treated him less than a man. They had been texting, talking on Facebook and God only knows what at work. My hiusband claimed to me he had all these messages on his facebook from her, when i asked hm to show me he said no im not showing you anything, my defense was because your lying and there are no messages (Which the chick did tell me there are no messages- BUT how did my husband know that she has another facebook that isnt on his friends list) So yet again I snooped through his phone, the picture was deleted, and i even got to see his facebook, NO MESSAGES!!! I found out last month that my husband of 11 years has been having a year long affair. enough to make you go and look? WE were only just us the first year we started dating. recently i asked him frankly abt it he laughed and said yes i have my mistress at office(in a kidding way) and then he replied by saying that he dont have any affair with any other ladies. Its far more likely a view into his own bad personality and he would have cheated on you anyway. I am married. I completely snapped. Heidi, i love your answer. My instincts tell me that he may be cheating but I cant figure out how he would have the time. Its a sickening feeling to be wondering if your own husband is involved with another woman! Tell me what three things you most want to see happen with your husband and your life. You are worthy of better!! What a joke, not all men are a$$holes. Does he allow you to look at his texts or does he whisper when he is in the phone sometimes? Your grandma on your moms side? (35 Alarming Signs Your Husband Or Boyfriend Is A Cheat), 6 Cheating Spouse Text Messages, Codes, & Abbreviations (How to Handle It), Behavior After Getting Caught Cheating (7 Things To Do Now). I never asked him about it again but it was always on my mind. Your dad made a really bad choice to cheat on her, and your mom needed to know the truth. Maybe, theyre just friends. Over time, it will help you work through your feelings and help you decide what your next steps should be. I dont know if your husband is cheating, or lying, or both, or neither. He said okay, it was just a picture because she wanted to show him her new hair style, whatever! He was flirting with her basically saying he wished he had met her a few years earlier because he thought she looked hot. I feel like if u separate temporarily you guys may rediscover why you fell in love and get back to a healthy, loving, trusting, and respectful relationship. I asked to see the text and he deleted them. 3 months after my son was born i caught my husband in the shower watching porn which is not allowed under my roof and he agreed at the time but now hes constantly lying to me and feels like he is always going behind my back and when i see him in his work place it looks like he stares and flirts with everyone. We built a house and moved in together in June of this year. Your response to Naive had a huge effect on how I have been feeling about my own situation and has helped me towards finding the best solution and/or direction for ME more so than for my husband and I. I always justified his online activities and never thought (or wanted to think) that they were any kind of threat or not enough to worry about because after all, its ONLY entertainment right?? This past December, there was a woman who came up to us at the bar and introduced herself to me. Dont bother us with your egotistical, egocentric question of whether you should have an affair with a married man. He can tell that something is off. I have the gut feeling, but he has a quick tongue and am not sure what to believe. Protect that location. He wont admit hes cheatingso will you trust your gut, or his words? He did have an affair about 6/7yrs ago which hes ended since. Plz help. Tomorrow I will not cry over him ever again, How to Forgive Your Husband for Cheating While He Was Alive, 11 Undeniable Signs of Cheating Wisdom After the Affair, The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It, Is He Lying to You? That means act as if, fake it til you make it. Im sorry I cant offer personal advice or help. Then when he did get home it was jump in shower, well i read that you can tell if man had sex especially in hurry to leave gf, check underwear for late ejectuation. Dear Jennifer, I feel your pain hugely as I never said no to sex in all our 27 years of marriage. My ex, Danny (my daughters father) was the worst kind of man. Your subconscious is picking up on hints and clues, and thats why youre suspicious of him. All these comments are heart breaking. But I started having that gut feeling of cheating(Nov.2010), even though hed promise & swear theres nothing going on, hed even ask me what proof did I have or where was this all coming from! At first he said he asked for my forgiveness and since Iam very blessed, I said I can not just forgive out of the blue. my only regret is that I didnt smarten up sooner. 7 weeks later I received a call from the police wanted to (talk) to me2 questions later I was arrested for hassasment which was later dismissed. he said no that is why we are going out this side door. Move on and leave him behind. When asked about it, he said he wasasleep & he never heard the phone, but when at home or anywhere else he always answers even if hes asl. And that fear and guilt of the unknown has to be discussed about. he s always teasing me and comparing me with other gals. My husband and I have an active physical relationship but he spends more and more time on his computer and texting now. Which is a very reasonable thing to do, however, you shouldnt just take him back without setting up some boundaries. I didnt know he had the problem with pills till we had been together for 2 years. I have a gut feeling that youre too good for this guy anyway!!! Ive just finished writing a book about saying I love you, and one of the chapters is about rebuilding your marriage after an affair. Im hurt like no other knowing my love of my life has done this to me. She was very pretty she was wearing a black string binkini and had a perfect body. So if he's thinking it's better to deny 'til you die, here are 10 signs he cheated even if he won't admit it. I read this book called Lie Detection Made Easy and then gave some copies to one of my girlfriends that suspected an affair and the information in the book worked! Amen. I went back. Lately though up until now he doesnt try to even hardly make a move to sleep with mehe never makes out with me unless we are doing it. My husband was talking to other women and lying to me. Do what works best for you both, not what anyone else tells you is right or wrong. If youre using a condom on your penis, you are putting it somewhere!). At least he told you the truth about the strip bar. She then proceeded to ask him if him and I were still together and he bluntly told her no, that I was the one that left him and he had been single for a month. DO NOT be afraid to stand up for yourself or you may find yourself an old woman being cheated on and lied to and those are our golden years do not let him do you like that girlfrend :). When a womans instinctual desires for these things are not being met, she is more likely to stray than a woman who feels secure with her mate. I know men are visual creatures. He finally deleted his Facebook account because it caused a lot of problems in our marriage. Said how shed love to have him as a partner. Hes lost a lot of weight. The wired thing about the time he called he called me 23 minutes early before his lunch break. i dont get how guys can be so messed up. I believe you know deep in your heart if you can trust your husband as much as you know if you can trust anyone. It hurts oh so much, dont get me wrong, to admit and to face this, but I have to believe that when all the dust settles and the wounds are almost healed, I will beOK! I trusted him over and over I believed him and trusted him, but now I dont buy it anymore. He strongly denies sleeping with he and she confirmed via sms to his number which she thought she was responding to him that he was talking crap. He is a good hearted guy and it may really be friendship but I want it to stop. You express yourself quite well. The guys a jerk. Its always going to be YOUR FAULT!!! May you find peace with whatever your future holds, and may you be strong enough to move forward with what you know in your heart is the right thing for you to do. I do think a man would be crazy to give up a woman who offers what you suggest. Im 25 with no children. I will be praying for you and your child!!! im worried that my husband cheating on me he had cheated three times we just were getting ready for a baby he got me pregnat so young 16 i had no wher he started lying we just have arguments everyday, ive been married for one year and we have two adorable kids, lately i heard that my husband is having an affair + that women just gaved birth. They switched my nearly new boots with a pair that the sole was coming off. I know something is up. Despite the fact that I have been cheated on in a relationship, I myself have actually never cheat on the person I was involved with. I knew my husband for 6 yrs before marriage. 4. Then one morning he left his phone on while he was taking a shower before work. One is with a coworker. he always said that and keeps saying it but it was just curiosity. Stay hopeful, stay connected to people who are supportive, and stay connected with God. It sounds like youre already worried. Just try to see the funny side. He takes longer and gazes into my face and eyes as we connect and calls my name as we reach the crescendo, and then cuddles me afterwards. From June of last year to March of 2011, he lived and worked in a different city. Just, The Wife. I eventually get pregnant for the 3rd time with our daughter who is now going on 4 months. One way to start is to casually broach the subject. recently 6 months ago he started new job an old co-worker we both worked for got him job. But the video chat picture was saved in his laptop and IPAD2. Is there a way to confront him? Heres an article that may help you see your marriage and your husband more clearly: https://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/how-do-you-know-if-he-really-loves-you/, Its called How to Know if He Really Loves You.. I feel devastated, angry, hurt and also feel like my life is over. When he is home, he sleeps all the time. He said ok hell tell her, well,.. i check his phone a week later and theres a txt from him to her saying HIM: just saying hi HER Hey Miss u Now i am mad at this point, i questioned him yet again! Then I realized that since he had a vasectomy, he probably didnt wear a condom. Lying husbands actually tell the truth, cushioned in lies. Trust me, you are capable of more than youll ever know. I did everything for him. It doesnt mean were stupidit just means that were human. Why are you wasting what is left of your youth on a man who is interested in other women? Also, my husbands attitude towards me has changed a lot, he always pick up quarrels with me, he is no longer intimate with me as we used to be, sometimes, I cant help but think that he is no longer in love with me. And then you are surprised why I loose myself over a picture. i let a day go by before confronting again. He calls me during the day and seems to want to be with me every second. to him he loves me but cannot do anything to please me,he calls me a controller anytime i confront him about anything.now i am almost due for delivery of our first child and all he does is to stay out the whole day and go clubbing at night.he claims he does business even in the night and will probably have no money for us when he stops his night escapades. It only gets worse. I pray you find healing for the hurts that have been done to you, and I pray you find wisdom to leave people who dont treat you with love and respect. Its natural for you to want to scream and break things, after all, this is one of the worst breaches of trust that can ever happen to you. (An hour? I dot want to tell him that I have been on his messages and skype, I know I crossed the line. And, you cant do it alone. I decided not to open them pictures, because I have pictures with guys aswell. Whether its your husband cheating or you being overly sensitive or paranoid, I dont know. Thats sick and twisted, and it happens all too often! I only know the brother and a couple other sisters of his. I dont know what to do. The night before I checked his phone I had cuddled up to him in bed and he more or less shrugged me off. He said he wanted to reconcile and I told him I didnt know if that was possible . Hi, My boyfriend and I have been together about a year now. Weve also had therapy, and he doesnt seem to take ownership or show empathy for his actions, expecting me to get over it and understand how this being out in the open looks on him. We dont have the money for counseling and Im afraid he will think its nuts that I want counseling. Mabel i would be moving on with my life. Then for 2011 i thought this would be the year life would turn around for us.. Little did i know he would pull another trick and ask my neice to do dirty things with him.. But when things werent going as she wanted she texted me to tell me about everything. Im so confused, I feel like hes giving me mixed messages and its leaving me feeling unsafe and not secure with him. He could her everything about us. Rebuilding trust is possible but involves a lot of work if the husband is willing to take responsibility (not blaming it on genes) and explain how and why he did it in the first place. If your husband says he can't do anything wrong, he is defending against his own vulnerabilities and imperfections. my husband gets mad when i ask him to do anything, i am 5 1/2 months pregnant and high risk. To them the truth is a hallucination of a monster waiting to turn them into a rubble of shame. But during the last time he moved in, Ive found questionable text messages from co-workers, business cards from a co-worker (who was advertising massages), and while I was pregnant he went to a strip club. There is a lot more but I want to get to my question. Can you be yourself in this relationship? Its a terrible situation to be in. I found he is on hook up sites. I said that I was already in the parking lot near the doors around the corner from the office. May you find the right person or people to support you as you journey forward. When I told him why, he didnt respond. I found out two months ago he had been sexting a work colleague. I have entertained this woman before and she has even been around my kids. And heres an article I wrote for another reader, who is in the same boat as you: https://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/why-doesnt-he-love-me-the-way-i-love-him/, I have been with my husband for 13 years. Nonetheless, as weve stated above women still cheat, I just think that its probably a bit less frequently than men. ON MY BIRTHDAY. I have and is still married to a man for 19 years. he never gave me the answers i wanted so I never forgave. We have been together for 8. So when you say to check his phone and email I already do so he would know how to hide it really good specially sense he knows a lot about computers. Fact is, I simply dont trust any man. Why would he do this? But why cant I shake this feeling? I returned and didnt think anything until I saw a picture of a woman in my husbands gallery that was in an autosave file. He has lied and betrayed me. This woman is 26. thank u in advance. Im a very gorgeous girl, and i feel he is lucky 2 have me but sometimes i feel he is cheating and lying about it. Well nearly 2 years after trying to work things out with my husband and putting myself second to what he needs, i came home from work yesterday to find he has gone. Im not doing anything, but wonder if he is again. I confronted her again, all she did was cry and say Im sorry, but never answered what she was sorry for, I had to walk away before I punched her. Well I broke it to her that I had just screwed him and it upset her so she hung up. You deserve to be treated better, and with honesty and respect. Can you say CHEATER! May you accept the most painful reality because the first step to healing after an affair is to know if your husband is lying about cheating. You can do it. So it took me days to build his trust and get him to talk about it eventhough I was burning with anger and rage. I have never been so sad in my life. I completely trusted him. He swears they only had a friendship and is not nor ever was attracted to her sexually. if yes why cant you see until you finish the counselling process result and decide, i cant advice you for devorce but this depend to you, sit with your husband and solve the problem this is a very small somthing just becouse there is another woman involved, are they having kids together? And yeah what he said is the same to what your lover does. He doesnt take as much time for me as he could. Im only 23 years old and Im so lost idk what to do at this point I feel like my love for him is lost somewhere. I just dont know enough about your relationship or marriage to give you advice! He told me he still wants to date me even if he married someone else for his citizenship which I also told him I wasnt comfortable with and wouldnt work for me which he understood. My husband is very smart so he can hide sum of the signs like wen he kums home he stil wants to hav sex but he always accuses me of things, hell kum home and look at the bed and snoop around, hes always saying im liying about sumthing or that im cheating. Now I am getting these emails. He then had a heart attack and quickly confess to the affair. The best advice I have to give to u is go running from this guy because as the saying goes once a cheater always a cheater. He thought I wouldnt say anything. Hi everyone, been with my husband (now) for 2 years before he proposed to me, we got a place and got married 5 months ago. I accidentally stumbled across some updates. if you choose to stay i hope you understand that you will be allowing this. But i found out through a friend that they did see eachother, while i was out of town. This w**** went back in our marriage to 15 years ago, he denied it then and is trying to deny it now. To be honest I cheat and always will. i really dont know what to do or what to belive, i wish somebody could give me some advices.. Some may be justified but there is more to it than what you may think of yourself. Do you still love him and want him and want to work to keep it together? He was gone for over two hours. She was my friend. I had checked his phone log and found a call to her house 15 minutes long and once again I confronted her and him with it and they claimed it was all business. I pulled our phone records and notice there were sending text messages back n forth to one another . Then why wouldnt you want to make sure she not only hears it from you but feels it through your actions? So now there`s none of that. I wish you happiness and please dont give in to him. I had say yes, I live, but I think I will leave until a judge or someone competent says so. Usually they cheat because they dont feel connected to the man they are with emotionally. There were three calls and he said he only called her once. Saying it was old friends catching up and when I found the picture, he didnt tell me saying he knew I would blow it out of proportion and think it was more than it was. My husband did the same sort of things to me and he was definitely cheating. As a female I get sick and tired of other females male bashing. I was devasted. I knew our marriage wasnt perfect, but I never would have believed this kind, gentle man would do this sort of thing. 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