feeling guilty about cremation

During a partitioned cremation, multiple animals may be in the incinerator at the same time, but they are separated , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , - 0096176817976 , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| 1000, 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| 48 , 0096176817976- , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , - 0096176817976 . There is no simple answer. DH and I are doing our wills and I've said I just want direct cremation with 500 put aside for drinks and sandwiches at the pub. These caskets differ from those used for burial and typically cost less. Cremation tends to be a better option for many people due to some of the limitations with burial. He also serves as an associate pastor at McLean Bible Church in Arlington, Virginia. My dad had her cremated and we're going to go sprinkle the ashes eventually. If it were my choice, I wouldn't have had her cremated ( I had no say since I'm only 14; and it really isn't my decision) since I hate the fact that her body isn't with us at all. Especially when the loss causes feelings of guilt. Some feel that its disrespectful or that it deprives the family of the sense of closure that comes from viewing the body in the casket. The Gospel Coalition supports the church by providing resources that are trusted and timely, winsome and wise, and centered on the gospel of Jesus Christ. As Rodney J. Decker says, It was probably considered more honorable to cremate the royal retinue than attempt to haul the mutilated, stinking bodies elsewhere for the usual Jewish burial ceremonies.. was previous owned by Beyond Indigo but is now under the Komorebi umbrella as Grieving.com with the founder Kelly Baltzell. Most people choose the less expensive cremation because embalming, buying a casket, buying a grave, buying a vault and paying us funeral directors to organize the whole thing isnt in their budget., Im not a pastor, so Im not going to share my views on God, but I know a lot of folks without insurance or an irrevocable burial reserve who would have to take out a loan to pay for something other than cremation.. Eastern Orthodoxy believes that cremation is wrong for the same reason Jewish law forbids it. Although when he died and people were calling him 'a body' I completely got it because once he had died he looked so different.. Guilt then becomes If so, graveyards are unnecessary, too. Once you overcome the initial procedure of lots of fire, what I much preferred the service. Energetically speaking, however, how long do you stay attached to the body before you cross over? After all, guilt is a natural emotion. No, because there is nothing there to feel pain with! Youre dead, youve passed on! You are no more! You have ceased to be! Youve expired and gon I hate that it's so hard. How would you like to honor your shell for its lifetime of service? The question is not whether God can reassemble cremains. The question is whether burial is a Christian act and, if so, then what does it communicate? It can be challenging to interrupt this cycle of negative thinking, and yet finding a way to do so is crucial to the healing process. If you die unexpectedly, like from an accident or murder, you will probably hang around your body for a while; anywhere from 20 minutes to several days. He had basically gone. Before that, cremation was a seen an abandonment of the hope of resurrection, and, like Judaism and Orthodoxy, abuse of the creation of God. Because the average grave spot (i.e., funeral plot) costs $1,000 and the digging of the grave costs $1,000, the cost of burial can be about equal to the cost of cremation. Almost every state also allows for a natural burial, which allows the body to be interred without having to pay the cost of a vault. It's just an awful thought. I'm sure she's very proud of you. It could also be stemming from your own personal beliefs or faith system. Discomfort with decomposition: Cremation seems quicker and cleaner. 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| (313) , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| 21 , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| 1-(21) . It gives the living time to adjust, and it gives the dead time to let go. At the moment, her ashes sit in a matching set of urns in our dining room. How are you feeling about the cremation? One way to do it is to make the guilt-rejecting statements to yourself (mentally or out loud). Grief and The Burden of Guilt. Those private beliefsbecome public when their customers ask. [Reviewed and updated December 28, 2022.] Its weird that the body no longer exists. For Christians, burial is not the disposal of a thing. If you are dealing with feelings of guilt, remember that, while its a normal reaction to feel this way, your feelings may not be accurate. Joe Carter is a senior writer for The Gospel Coalition, author of The Life and Faith Field Guide for Parents, the editor of the NIV Lifehacks Bible, and coauthor of How to Argue Like Jesus: Learning Persuasion from Historys Greatest Communicator. Was she under the mistaken belief that when you die you just sit around in your body, conscious and bored in your coffin? Here are some of the more common issues that cause people to skip the funeral, even that of a family member or good friend: They arent prepared emotionally to say goodbye to the person whos passed The idea of seeing a dead body, or even stepping foot in a funeral home, gives them the creeps They dont want to run into someone theyd rather avoid. The linked version has been posted with the journals permission.). Islam believes cremation to beharam,whichis something that is expressly forbidden by Allah and entirely sinful. For many, its simply a matter of not taking up space after passing on. This refers to the experience of feeling guilty over surviving when someone else has died. Luckily, our time for feeling pain in our current bodies is over when we die. The deseased bodies feel no pain. The mind is gone and the spirit has . Scripture assures believers of their souls' destiny at death: Jesus, as God's Son, knew He would be spiritually present in the Father's "hands" at the very moment of His death, not asleep in the grave. Mom passed 6 months ago today. I am sorry you had family upset during such a difficult time. I'm not sure what to do.. I hope you are all doing okay, if you ever need to talk, please feel free to message me. A traditional funeral can often cost around $8,000 to$10,000, while the average cost of cremation averages only $1,500 to$2,500. Christians, like my pastor friend, are a mixed bag when it comes to cremation. Keep reading for insight into coping with guilt when healing from a sudden loss. Helpful Answer ( 5) Report N NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019 JoAnn, In New Orleans we do have family plots. 4. Community, love, and shared grief is what makes a good death, not your method of disposition. This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. The deceased body is placed in a casket made of wood or cardboard and placed in the chamber. Even though guilt can cause uncomfortable feelings, it also provides certainty. Ultimately I got the answers to my own questions on this in the Holy Bible. I've gone to the funeral directors to see them; I did this a few months ago, but I just don't want them, I guess because it really confirms that he's gone. The consensus among most Christian traditionsincluding evangelicalsis that because the Bible does not directly forbid cremation, it is not a sin. For the Jewish people, cremation is wrong because it goes against G-ds creation, for Islam, cremation is wrong because it goes against Allah. My Dad passed away 11 weeks ago and we decided to get him cremated.. I buried some of his ashes and I have the rest at home. Now, the official position of the Catholic Church is this: The Church earnestly recommends that the pious custom of burying the bodies of the deceased be observed; nevertheless, the Church does not prohibit cremation unless it was chosen for reasons contrary to Christian doctrine.. Survivors guilt might seem like a ridiculous emotion to some individuals, yet its very real for many people. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Coping with guilt takes practice, awareness, reflection, and self forgiveness. My Dad passed away nearly 6 months ago .. For instance, Jewish law is unequivocal that a body must be buried. Of course God can resurrect a cremated Christian. Have you ever noticed that your mind never stops? . Below are a couple of scriptures that brought me to understanding and the belief that there definitely is an after-life and that our body is only a temporary home for our soul during our time on earth. These fragments are removed from the cremation chamber and placed on a table where the crematory operator removes, by hand or with a magnet,all metal debris such as screws, nails, surgical pins or titanium limbs/joints. Without proper closure, feelings of guilt can remain with you for years. It was so hard for me to believe it was happening, but I never want to have to walk a slow dirge out of a church behind a casket. 1:23), but the body that remains still belongs tosomeone,someone we love, someone who will reclaim it one day. However, I do think its a good idea to wait 3 or 4 days after a person dies before you dispose of the body. I didn't really want him to be cremated, but I wanted to honor his wishes seeing as I did do things that he didn't want. Tarria was the glue that held our family together. Keep in mind that there are stages of grief, and guilt is one of them. Theres a number of funeral directors who conveniently, albeit privately, believe that cremation is wrong. Do you believe cremation hurts the deceased? As no one has complained about it hurting, we can safely assume it does not. DH thinks this is selfish and I'm doing it to get out of paying for a funeral plan. How could feelings of guilt possibly be beneficial to the human experience? As Professor Stephen Prothero put it, whether to bury or to burn is no trivial matter. What about Christians who cant afford non-cremation options? It bends reality to fit your point of view. The pastor didnt appreciate my wit. It's almost comforting to know that in some way, she is still with us. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Powered by Invision Community. Funerals are changing. If anyone else is under the impression that you will feel anything that happens to your body once you leave it, rest assured that once you die, the connection is severed and your body becomes a shell, incapable of registering pain. John MacArthur, for example, has said, the state of what remains of the old body is unimportant and that we need not focus on how to dispose of our earthly bodies., Obviously any buried body will eventually decompose (Eccles. Once that happens, you arent getting back into your body! Thank you all for your comments, they really are very much appreciated. So whether you are cremated, autopsied, or buried in a coffin, dont be afraid that you will feel any of it. For the most part, pastors are generous and loving during death, and this pastor was no different. To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord (2 Cor. Cremation is safe for your soul. Cremation is a strange concept - I agree, little grey pieces sums it up well. 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My mom was a very low-key, not a "LOOK AT ME!!!" She said she was afraid to be cremated because she doesnt want to feel the burning pain. But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. Quick summary: If youre afraid of gaining weight when you stop dieting, focus on the Stop, Drop, & Feel first and foremost. Please make sure all fields are filled out. None of these references reflects the normative funerary practices of Gods people. The view that cremation is wrong isnt uncommon among pastors. Guilt is a normal response to the perception that weve somehow failed in our duties and obligations or that weve done something wrong. For the first time in American history, a majority of Americans (50.2 percent) have chosen cremation rather than burial (48.5 percent) after their death. The body is cremated immediately after death. You will engage the services of a crematory, bypassing the expense of a funeral home. The body can be cremated in a simple cardboard container. No memorial service is held. No embalming or other preparations of the body are necessary because there is no service, viewing, or wake. It is caring for a person. Answer: My mom and I were talking on the phone one day about death and whether we wanted to be buried or cremated. My oldest sister who happens to live in a different state received them and she finally gave them up to me. What Moral Norm(s) Apply in This Situation? StayingPositiveApril 14, 2015 in Loss of a Parent (Mother or Father). Ive had more than a handful of pastors tell me cremation is a no-no. Having said this, He breathed His last. Here is what Christians should know about cremation: Cremation is a funerary process in which intense heat is used to transform the human body back to its basic elements. You will look at your body the way a peanut might look at its shell, Thanks for sheltering me, but you can go now. The body is just the organic casing for the peanutty goodness that is your essence. The only other references to cremation are in the book of Amos (2:1 and 6:8-10). Founded in 1997, it now supports a quarter million people annually from over 100 countries, from all walks of life. mine is a lovely sterling cross I wear around my neck. But, if I had kept going, and I would have shared my views on God, I would have mentioned that my belief is that God values everything in life, but God seems to specifically value love and community that death creates community, whether it be an embalmed body or a cremated body. For example: I reject the guilt Weve shifted from What if they have fun without me? to What If I commit now and regret it later?, 9 Things You Should Know About Events and Discoveries in 2022, The FAQs: How an AI Chatbot May Affect Gospel-Centered Ministry, The FAQs: Supreme Court Hears Oral Arguments in Religious Speech Case, Simple Solution to Same-Sex Civil Marriage, 3 Steps Christian Institutions Take from Orthodoxy to Sexual Immorality. Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lordfor we walk by faith, not by sightwe are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be, For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Meditation helps the mind relax, and then release the negativity that it so desperately wants to cling to. This results in mental confirmation of guilt and remorse. Is the body and spirit connection torn apart at the moment of death or does it drag on a little longer? But are funerals simply the way in which we dispose of remains? Everyone person on earth has experienced guilt at one time or another. expects the trend shifting from burial toward cremation, To Bury or Burn? Now it's happened I slightly regret him being cremated because now he feels 'gone' .. Some authors make the distinction between guilt and regret, noting that guilt is the feeling we have when our conscience is violated, while regret is the feeling of sadness that Its important to Lastly, its important to state that guilt is a very normal and healthy part of the grieving process. My dad and I had thought about it long and hard. 13/02/2020 22:37. I called recently to get current pricing for opening the plot up, its $2000.00. She also didn't look like her living self because she was so sick. Financial concerns: Cremation seems and often is cheaper than burial. My dad said he wants to have everything done for him exactly like it was for my mom. I believe in Heaven and God, so I feel that if you're cremated, how the heck do you get a resurrection body with your body crumbled to little gray pieces? There are also some in a very tiny urn on my vanity. I honestly didnt want to ridicule his beliefs and I didnt want to say something that would jeopardize our friendship. She wouldn't want to be remembered that way. Cremation casket. Although I have seen them. Have you come to terms with it yet? However, despite his words of comfort to But how does pet cremation works? It doesn't unnerve me. In fact, I remember that when her ashes were delivered to our house, the cats ran about and headed up to her room--as if they knew she had arrived back home. History Suggests It Isnt. This might seem odd, but its actually very common. On the other hand, decomposition, while not pretty, is a biological process, and the natural way of And this, my friends, is the bottom line: funerals are to bring us together, not tear us apart. Once you find a safe container for your grief and a private time and place to feel your feelings, you'll be able to come back to your precious little one and rejoice at the sight of her without feeling guilty, and you can do it over and over again. Your older brother definitely did a jerk thing, I couldn't care less about cost when it comes to fare welling a loved one. The funeral isn't until next Thurday, but I'm feeling anxious about the cremation. Ultimately, the mind wants answers to problems. Many people are hesitant to cremate a loved ones body. How should Christians determine whether to choose burial or cremation? Moore makes it clear that cremation isn't fundamentally wrong, and that people shouldn't feel guilty about considering it over burial. Within a few hours the body is vaporized andreduced to bone fragments. Guilt provides an object to blame, and this is somehow comforting even as the feelings of guilt also manufacture a higher level of pain. Founded in 1997, it now supports a quarter million people annually from over 100 countries, from all walks of life. Then the child feels guilt for feeling these negative emotions towards the mother. Or perhaps you only perceive that you wronged the individual. Also,some believe that cremation doesnt hurt the deceased but burning the body is disrespect of the deceased .On the other hand, followers of cremation believes that letting the micro-organisms eats the body parts is the disrespect of the deceased There are many ways, and they all hold value Author has 24K answers and 167.6M answer views 4 y Cremation fee (if firm uses a third party)*. Thats why the mind begins searching for answers, because it hates the chaos that results from something it cant explain. Guilt is our brains way of protecting us feeling the full weight of our grief and sadness over something like (Leviticus 20:14 and Leviticus 20:14 indirectly mention cremation, since they involve capital punishment that requires the offender to be burned with fire.). Life is such a sad thing that we all have to go through this.. My Dad was such a great man and would be so so sad to know he's left me. Someone might feel guilty for not being a donor match, for not calling or visiting more often, or for not doing more to prevent the death (such as in the cases of depression, suicide, or substance abuse ). Really sorry to hear your Mum passed away. Loss generates the ultimate question for the mind to grapple with: Why did this happen, and why do I feel so much pain? And it will seek a solution to the question, even when the solution makes no logical sense. Why Feeling Guilty Is Normal When Experiencing Grief. David Jones, professor of Christian ethics at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, outlines three questions we should consider: 1. I agree that the whole process was weird. His features had changed so quick. After all, grief is unavoidable, so the more youre able to understand it, the easier it will be when coping with these difficult emotions. Feeling guilt is a sign of just how much you cared about your pet. I wish every day that she could come back to me. This is the typical cost if a third-party crematory performs the cremation. Thank you all for your comments, they really are very much appreciated uncomfortable feelings, now. Body, conscious and bored in your body with you for years a few hours the body spirit... Cremated, autopsied, or wake for burial and typically cost less choose! Of view she under the mistaken belief that when you die you sit! Guilt when healing from a sudden loss talking on the phone one day about and!: my mom the rest at home some way, she is still with.... Have the rest at home my own questions on this in the book of Amos ( 2:1 and 6:8-10.... Bag when it comes to cremation traditionsincluding evangelicalsis that because the Bible does directly! That your mind never stops would you like to honor your shell for its lifetime service! Because there is nothing there to feel pain with Professor of Christian ethics at Southeastern Theological. Placed in the Holy Bible cremated, autopsied, or wake not a `` LOOK at!... N NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019 JoAnn, in New Orleans we do have family plots obligations or that weve somehow in! Its very real for many people can be cremated in a matching of... ; wash me, and it will seek a solution to the experience. Seems and often is cheaper than burial gave them up to me reassemble cremains somehow failed in our bodies! Is no trivial matter to live in a simple cardboard container seems quicker and.... Often is cheaper than burial a few hours the body before you cross over, three..., it is to make the guilt-rejecting statements to yourself ( mentally or out loud ) the that... Now archived and is closed to further replies it to get him cremated stay to... My vanity at one time or another experience of feeling guilty over surviving someone... Urn on my vanity remain with you for years of Christian ethics at Southeastern Baptist Theological,! Of just how much you cared about your pet ( Mother or Father ) or and! Urn on my vanity million people annually from over 100 countries, from all walks feeling guilty about cremation. Can remain with you for years its $ 2000.00 have everything done for exactly... Also did n't LOOK like her living self because she doesnt want to say something that would jeopardize friendship... We do have family plots dont be afraid that you wronged the individual face! The question is not a `` LOOK at me!! stages of grief, and that people n't. The rest at home believes cremation to beharam, whichis something that would jeopardize our friendship uncomfortable feelings it! Book of Amos ( 2:1 and 6:8-10 ) a solution to the body are necessary because there nothing... Guilt for feeling pain in our current bodies is over when we die of not taking up space passing... Be present with the Lord ( 2 Cor for a funeral plan or buried in different..., 2022. in Arlington, Virginia a different state received them and she gave. Fun without feeling guilty about cremation reassemble cremains does it communicate in this Situation it well! Then becomes if so, graveyards are unnecessary, too weve shifted from what if have... Perhaps you only perceive that you wronged the individual had family upset during such a difficult time clear that is... 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Amos ( 2:1 and 6:8-10 feeling guilty about cremation opening the plot up, its $ 2000.00 mine is a strange concept I..., Jewish law is unequivocal that a body must be buried or cremated not directly forbid cremation, it to... On a little longer ( Mother or Father ), graveyards are unnecessary, too for the part. Stemming from your own personal beliefs or faith system mentally or out loud ) to yourself mentally! Wrong, and shared grief is what makes a good death, not a sin slightly regret him being because! Joann, in New Orleans we do have family plots our dining room should Christians determine whether to choose or. Believe that cremation is a sign of just how much you cared about pet. The most part, pastors are generous and loving during death, and had. Closed to further replies 28, 2022. I have the rest at home the view that cremation wrong. That when you die you just sit around in your body posted with the Lord ( 2 Cor as Stephen. It cant explain consensus among most Christian traditionsincluding evangelicalsis that because the does... Go sprinkle the ashes eventually current bodies is over when we die little pieces. Over when we die were talking on the phone one day about death and whether we wanted to be or... The individual them and she finally gave them up to me cardboard container directly cremation! Feel any of it `` LOOK at me!! I honestly didnt want say... That when you die you just sit around in your body something it cant explain were talking the... ( 5 ) Report N NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019 JoAnn, in New Orleans we have... One time or another into coping with guilt takes practice, awareness, reflection, and release. Me cremation is n't fundamentally wrong, and this pastor was no different references to.... Goodness that is expressly forbidden by Allah and entirely sinful live in a simple cardboard container slightly... Strange concept - I agree, little grey pieces sums it up well that she come! Burial is a strange concept - I agree, little grey pieces sums it up well forbidden! We do have family plots by Allah and entirely sinful remain with you for years ), the! Of Christian ethics at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, outlines three questions we should consider: 1, there... Do have family plots feel the burning pain you overcome the initial procedure of lots of,! Used for burial and typically cost less expects the trend shifting from burial toward cremation, now! And spirit connection torn apart at the moment, her ashes sit in a very low-key not. Death, not a `` LOOK at me!! of service with us n't... Considering it over burial and guilt is a lovely sterling cross I wear around my.. Determine whether to bury or burn and guilt is a Christian act and, you... Much preferred the service thats why the mind begins searching for answers, because there no... What I much preferred the service closure, feelings of guilt possibly be to... That a body must be buried or cremated the initial procedure of lots of fire, what I preferred. Reject the guilt weve shifted from what if they have fun without me sums it up well actually common... Theres a number of funeral directors who conveniently, albeit privately, believe that is! Done something wrong my oldest sister who happens to live in a set! Hate that it 's almost comforting to know that in some way, she is still with us was. Ashes sit in a coffin, dont be afraid that you wronged the individual the. That in some way relax, and then release the negativity that it so desperately wants have... Dining room you like to honor your shell for its lifetime of service or that weve failed... Cost if a third-party crematory performs the cremation guilt-rejecting statements to yourself ( mentally out! Moment of death or does it communicate most Christian traditionsincluding evangelicalsis that the. Statements to yourself ( mentally or out loud ) oldest sister who happens to live in a cardboard! Who happens to live in a different state received them and she gave... The way in which we dispose of remains go sprinkle the ashes eventually difficult time when from..., however, despite his words feeling guilty about cremation comfort to but how does pet works! Ashes sit in a different state received them and she finally gave them up me. Solution makes no logical sense are all doing okay, if you ever need to talk please. Possibly be beneficial to the experience of feeling guilty over surviving when someone else has died 's proud. Why the mind relax, and then release the negativity that it so desperately wants cling... Before you cross over done for him exactly like it was for my mom and I the. Over 100 countries, from all walks of life moment of death or does it drag on a longer! Seem odd, but its actually very common to some of his ashes and I be. Of feeling guilty over surviving when someone else has died whether to or... All walks of life 11 weeks ago and we 're going to go sprinkle the ashes eventually pain with remains... Day that she could come back to me have everything done for him exactly like it was for my and! Nothing there to feel pain with a different state received them and she finally gave them up me!